Sophie’s Adventure in Bathroom Etiquette, or, The Poop Diaries

Earlier this year, I began having a problem with Sophie.

She began pooping outside the box. And I don’t mean “in a creative way”. She eschewed her litterbox for...

Wait for it...

...MY BED.

My sentiments, exactly.

Two years ago, soon after I had adopted her, she had done this on a runner rug I had, while I was away visiting my folks. I knew it was her because I found her scratching the rug AROUND where the poop was, which shows she was claiming ownership of that territory. I cleaned the rug and put it away so she couldn’t smell it, knowing that the smell can cause repeat offenses. She stopped doing it. Problem solved, yah? I forgot all about it.

Then earlier this year, while I was in Las Vegas, I came home and found, when I pulled the top blanket on my bed aside, she had pooped on the bed. Shocked and incensed as I was, I washed my bedding and looked it up online, not satisfied with the explanation that she was mad at me for going away. I had gone away MANY times between the carpet and the bed poops and she hadn’t done anything during those times.

Most sources said that there could be something physically wrong with the cat and this was her way of telling me that she was stressed about something—take the cat to the vet for a checkup as soon as possible.

I took her to the vet—she had severe gingivitis around her back bottom teeth—even the vet cringed and said it looked very painful. Holy smokies! My poor Sophie Soph!

We made an appointment for her back teeth to be removed, so as not to have a place for bacteria to collect and get infected, which is a common solution to this very common problem in cats. The surgery was done, and she couldn’t eat anything but wet food for a few weeks. Then she got an upper respiratory infection due to her low immune system and couldn’t SMELL her wet food, so she stopped eating. Arghhhh...This is VERY dangerous for cats to do, as they can develop fatty liver disease within as short as two days, which CAN kill them. I tried treats, chicken broth, heating up her wet food to make the smell stronger, whatever anyone advised me, and still she did not eat. For five days...GAH!! She visibly lost weight, and I took her to the vet again, saying, DO SOMETHING! They gave her an antibiotic injection and some water under the skin to clear up the URI and hydrate her. In a few days, she was eating again—Bastet be praised! I gave her both wet food and then mashed-up, moistened dry food to go easy on her mouth. I outwitted her and began crushing up her post-surgery antibiotics and mixing it in her wet food, to help her mouth recover, too, and she fell for it and ate it! My sweet little box of rocks...

During all of this drama...you guessed it...she pooped on the bed AGAIN. Oh yes. Not once, but TWICE. Once when I was at work (NOT on a long trip), and once when I was merely IN THE OTHER ROOM. Getting bolder and bolder, she was. Even though I’d had sheets and blankets and bedspread washed PROFESSIONALLY at the dry cleaners...It was so random that I figured it must just be a habit with her by now.

GAAAAHHHH!!! NOW what???

I couldn’t--COULD NOT--get rid of her—she’s my baby...but I couldn’t have her shitting on my BED, either. I COULDN’T.

That last time, per Martin’s suggestion, I made her smell the spot where she did it and smacked her ass a couple of times, saying “NO!” Then I put her in her litterbox and pet her gently, cooing, “Good GIRL, Sophie, good GIRL...” Basic negative/positive reinforcement—Psych 101.

I also began closing the door when I wasn’t home, and also when I was home, but not IN my bedroom. She didn’t seem to do it when I was RIGHT THERE. Martin read that sometimes shaking up their scene can shock them into discontinuing the bad habit. So I began the Great Bedroom Move of 2011 and re-arranged the damn furniture, moving the bed to the opposite wall. And again, I closed the door when I wasn’t in there, washed the bedding, used Nature’s Miracle on it so even she couldn’t (supposedly) smell anything, washed it again. And every time I saw her use the litterbox, I petted her and cooed. Every single time.

And I waited.

And waited.

I’m still waiting.

It’s been several weeks and she has NOT pooped on the bed yet. I’ve tried limited access to the room when I am home. She doesn’t lay on the bed without me now—she lays on the floor or on another piece of furniture. It’s as if she knows now that the bed is my territory, and that what she’s been doing is unacceptable.

Her teeth have healed up, too, so that stressor is gone.

And I went out of town for 10 days, door closed, and she never pooped in the living room or anywhere other than the litterbox.

Here’s hoping this little chapter of our life is CLOSED.

So if you’re having or know someone who is having similar problems, kids, take notes, learn from my story. Let my experience help you.

I mean, look at her...You'd keep her, wouldn't you?